Hemp Bars: Subtitles and Seagulls

Subtitles 1

(Chocolate Hemp Seed Granola Bars)

Perpetually looking for ways to slip peacefully into a nostalgic coma, I bought a DVD copy of Foundation’s video Art Bars: Subtitles and Seagulls on ebay the other day.  I started skating just after this video came out, so the oldest Foundation video I had grown up with was 2004’s That’s Life.  Don’t get me wrong, That’s Life deserves abundant praise, and it’s hard to imagine a complete Foundation video without the Duff Man; that said Art Bars is a damn near perfect skate video.

Maybe it’s because it’s reminiscent of simpler time when flip-in/flip-out wasn’t expected; maybe it’s the truly confusing artistic license proudly on display by Jon West; maybe it’s that batshit crazy hardflip that Markovich does down that double set from yesteryear; whatever that special ingredient is, this video had crazy energy (and it wasn’t just Strubing’s speed).

To match that energy, this week’s recipe is a chocolate hemp seed granola bar.  If this looks a little familiar, it may be because this recipe is a bit similar to SGBP’s inaugural recipe, The Search For Animal Chia Bars.  Granted, the ingredients are largely different, other than chocolate, chia seeds and coconut, but the method of prep is similar.  Additionally, these are lower in carbs than the chia bars and higher in good fats and protein.  In these bars, you’ll get a good mix of protein and fats from hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds and peanut butter.  Top it off with a chocolate finish and it’s a delectable treat to keep you pushing with Markovich’s ferocity and Rusczyk’s pop.

Subtitles 2


  • 1 cup hemp seeds
  • 1 table spoon chia seeds
  • 1/3 cup pumpkin seeds (raw, unsalted)
  • ¼ cup sunflower seeds (raw, unsalted)
  • 1/3 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
  • Dash of cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp. coconut sugar (or any sugar/sweetener)
  • 1/3 cup vegan chocolate chips
  • ½ cup peanut butter (smooth preferred)
  • 3 tbsp. coconut oil (melted)
  • ¼ cup agave


  1. In a large bowl, mix together the hemp seeds, chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, coconut, cinnamon and coconut sugar. Just mix it up as best as you can.
  2. In a small bowl, add the peanut butter, melted coconut oil and agave and mix; microwave it for 30 seconds and mix again until it’s liquid and smooth.
  3. Add the peanut butter mix to the seed mix and stir it around until evenly mixed. This will melt the chocolate chips as you mix, giving the bars a pervasive chocolate flavor.
  4. Add the mix to a parchment-lined 9×9 baking pan and spread it to the edges, flattening it out. Toss it in the freezer for half an hour then take it out, slice it up and enjoy!
  5. This keeps best in the freezer, but the fridge will also do.

Subtitles 3

Happy shredding,


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